Recognizing Signs Of Porn Addiction
Recognizing Signs Of Porn Addiction

Recognizing Signs Of Porn Addiction

Recognizing signs of porn addiction in your partner is the first step you will make. The next is finding the right approach to open this subject and show him what he is doing to you.

5 Signs Of Porn Addiction

  • He is disinterested in having sex with you.
  • He has problems holding an erection.
  • His sexual behavior towards you changes aggressive, dominant)
  • He lies a lot
  • His computer history is strangely clear, despite his use.

You know your partner better than anyone else. Even so, it’s hard to pick up if he is an addict. He likely had this addiction even before you met.

Your Immediate Reaction

These are the main signs he could be an addict. Your first reaction will be shock and anger. Do know, however, that at this point, he is unaware that, you know, he has a problem. When you openly attack him in anger and frustration, he may confess or gaslight, but doubtful he will stop because you demand it. He will just become more protective of his use. So, even more, lies and coverups. It will also add fuel to his addiction because you will respond precisely how he thought you would. Hence the lies and hiding.

I know it’s hard when you find out he has been lying to you this whole time. You will have a higher chance to save your relationship if you talk to him calmly. Dake a few deep breaths. It will calm your mind. Do some brainstorming before you confront him. Make a list of questions you would like answered.

Be aware that when you open this subject with him, he will be completely unprepared and shocked that you know. If he seems distant, give him some time to process it and then talk to him.

Porn addict will freely choose to change or not, only when his life is on the brink of collapse, or in other words when he hits rock bottom. By then, the damage he did maybe irreversible.

What is going on with him?

It is highly likely he is unaware that he is addicted to Pornography. He most likely also suffers from denial. Can we help such a person?

Yes. Not by telling to change or forcing. It will only bring on denial, frustration, and anger from him. It would be best if you showed him he has an addiction.

Since you already know he has a problem, it is highly likely that you already fought his lies and deceptions. Trust me, from his point of view, this is normal. He cant see through the bullshit of his addicted mind. In his mind, this is who he is.

It’s biological, DNA-based, or he was born this way. Maybe it’s even Chernobyl radioactivity that messed him up. Get ready, because it will also be your fault for not wanting sex enough, or you are suddenly un-attractive, you don’t support him. It’s everything else, just not porn use.

Of course, none of it is true. It’s just years and years of using Porn to get off and subsequent brainwashing. It’s also what made him a manipulator and a liar. He hides his stuff and will do and say anything to cover it up. I explain this in more detail in my article titled Porn Addict Liar And Manipulator.

I warn you that because of his denial, he will not be very cooperative at this point. He will hate having this discussion and try to turn you into a bad guy. Since well, everybody watches Porn. It’s completely normal. He needs to unwind. He is functioning entirely normally for all this time that he has been using. It is how he will see it and vigorously defend his point.

A porn addict is not like a substance addict. He will function entirely normally and even be successful at his job and general in life. His dark side will appear only when he is alone or when confronted about his problem.

How To Help Him?

If you want to help, tell him that all he needs to do is prove to you that he does not have an addiction and can keep on doing what he has always done, and you will not complain.

Tell him to abstain from watching Pornography, masturbation, and sex for one month. If he can refrain, you will leave him alone. Tell him that to regain your trust, you will go with him to a Fidelity Polygraph test after a month of abstention. If he passes, you will not make a big deal out of it. Teens at their height of hormones ragging can abstain from watching Pornography and masturbating to it, so he can too.

Be cautious here. As an addict, he will search ways around this, and unfortunately for you, he will quickly find a way around it. Escorts. When the “dark one” surfaces, he can justify any behavior and action. If you so choose to go down this path, this is a real possibility that you must be aware of. I’d recommend you telling him beforehand that there will be a series of Polygraph questions related to his use of escorts once the month is over.

It sounds so severe it seems not even worth it. But trust me, he will try to do anything in his power to use again. It’s the “dark one.” Porn addiction is a heavy burden and a likely relationship killer.

If he watches Porn daily, there is no way in hell he will be able to abstain just out of the blue. He will be in denial, most likely right until to a point before his life falls apart. If his partner has to take him to a Polygraph test, that time has arrived.

Here is the good news. He can change before that, but he needs a strong reason and his dedication to change. You may think that your reasoning and threats should be sufficient for him to stop. He will not. He will get stressed and return to Porn. I know it is hard, but try to understand that his mind is split in two.

I wrote an article about why pornography addiction is so powerful for us and challenging to stay away from.

Pick the right time. The only time he will undoubtedly think clear is right after orgasm. It is a window of 30 minutes to 1 hour. It’s kind of a time of clarity when a porn addict feels disgusted and shame for what he is doing. At this time, he also realizes how weak he is and what this is doing to your relationship. Use this time. If need be, let him use his drug, and once he finishes, confront him.

How Do I Know My Partner Is Sincere Of His Recovery?

Signs of an active participant in recovery:

  • If he shows interest in the Porn addiction problem
  • He understands what Pornography is doing to him
  • If he is involved in his efforts to abstain
  • He talks to you
  • He tells you about his impulses and urges
  • He tells you if he relapses
  • He is open to you about his problem
  • He becomes more attentive to your needs
  • He agrees to delete all his porn sites, videos, etc. (under supervision if necessary)

Signs of a passive participant. This one is doing it only to get you off his back and not plan to change anytime soon—all Red Flags.

  • If he hides his phone and computer
  • He is generally disinterested in recovery
  • Shows no initiative
  • He does not want to talk to you about any of it
  • He will deny he has any collections or bookmarks saved anywhere
  • He is still shady in his behavior
  • He defends porn use as normal
  • Usually, if you suspect that he is not trying, you are more than likely correct

If he deletes bookmarks, pictures and videos is a tremendous step towards recovery. Even tho it may not seem so to you. A porn addict is heavily dependant on his material and finds it hard to part with it.

Where It Will Eventually Lead?

There is no way around what a porn addiction will do to you both. The lies themselves constitute a significant problem, and he will lie and hide like there is no tomorrow.

He has likely been doing this for years behind your back. Because for you to pick up on it, it means his problem has already progressed, and to some point, he is no longer that secretive and cautious about his use. It happens after years of use. The aggressiveness, domination, new strange fetishes, inadequate erection do not happen overnight because of Porn. It is so gradual that he won’t even make a connection as to what is causing this.

It does not mean he does not love you and that he does not want to change. The problem is his porn use created another part of him, The shady part. He identifies with the Shady part to be him.

Not to alarm you or anything, but as an addict, I used escorts a lot, and they told me that it is incredible how many married men that have families at home go to them. Men will go to them not only for sex but also for a talk with someone who understands their fetishes. We feel normal if we can talk to someone who understands, despite missing the reason why we go to them in the first place entirely.

Untill next time

Article Writen by Joe Average

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