How A Porn Addict Thinks?
How A Porn Addict Thinks?

How A Porn Addict Thinks?

Do you wonder how a porn addict thinks? Here is a full elaboration.

Impossible Decision

Have you ever experienced the following situation? You lie in bed and can’t sleep at all. You rationalize. “Now I will go watch some porn to relax so I can sleep.” You get out of bed and start your way towards your computer, and at the last moment, you turn around and head back to bed. You go up and down the apartment to and away from the computer. Sounds familiar?

It is called Ambivalence. It is not indecisive behavior. It is having simultaneous, directly opposing conflicting feelings or attitudes towards an object or activity. At times it becomes so bad your thoughts become your actions before you reach a consensus.

It does not mean you are insane, however. It sometimes happens when you are on both sides of an argument equally and simultaneously regarding a particular topic.

Porn Addict Reasoning When Drawn To Porn:

  • I can’t sleep, but I must rest for tomorrow.
  • I need to relax to sleep.
  • I should watch Porn and masturbate, and then I will be able to get sleep.
  • My wife might catch me if I watch it now on our computer.
  • I can’t sleep
  • I promised her I am done with that.
  • I will be so tired tomorrow, and I can do it just one more time. No one has to know. You get up and make your way towards the computer.
  • Sit at the computer and turn it on.
  • No. What kind of a man am I? I can resist!
  • Shut down PC, start my way back to bed.
  • At the bed, “I feel so tense, I have four more hours to get some sleep.” I need to fix this now.
  • Go back to PC and turn it on. Open browser
  • No, I hate myself! I am not a man! What kind of will power is this? Close browser
  • But I need to sleep, and I will feel soo good. Screw it just one more time
  • Open browser.

A person not suffering from an addiction will not understand, because honestly, it looks insane. However, this is how an addict gets torn apart between what he knows he should do and his body demands.

Porn Addict Rationalization Of The Irrational

  • Watching Porn is good, and I need to relieve stress. It hurts no one.
  • I have bad luck, and my life hates me. My DNA is messed up. I am cursed.
  • Those who don’t use Porn are lame.
  • I know everything about sex and love.
  • Every person can get off to something. Why couldn’t I? I am like this. it’s ok
  • If people don’t like me, they can go f… themselves. It is who I am.
  • This material is not so bad.

The Search

You are searching for that perfect picture or a video. You know what I mean, right? Nothing is worth finishing too. So you lose hours per session just searching for that perfect content. You don’t even know what it is, but you figure you will recognize it once you find it. You never do, however. Sometimes you come close to it, but it’s never quite it. In the end, you go for some barely interesting content because you are too wiped out and can’t withstand it anymore. Afterward orgasm, there is always severe remorse, depression, anxiety, etc.

I mean, think about it. If it were indeed only the feeling of orgasm that you seek, you would have done it to the first stimulating thing you see. But you don’t, do you? You flip through pictures/videos, genres, multiple tabs open. Hours passing. Always just on the verge of orgasm. It’s ridiculous how your addicted mind convinces you why you don’t just masturbate and get it over with. Looking for that perfect content, remember?

The Trance

It is not pleasure that drives your porn use, but the expectation of pleasure. It is the control mechanism that keeps you focused in a trance-like state when you get sucked in.

Your conscious gets a back seat when dopamine hijacks your mind. Everything is reasonable, and every obstacle is dismissed as irrelevant, no matter the weight of it.

As an addict, you know first hand how when you fall into watching Porn, how your normally rational mind starts to lose control and gets in the back seat. It is possible to pull away from it, but the most challenging part is seeing through all the excuses your addicted mind feeds you. The mind justifies everything once you start to get worked up. It’s like your thinking, rationalizing, receives a time out until it’s over.

It’s an interesting situation when you look at yourself in this state from an observer perspective. You feel tremendous excitement about how good an orgasm it will be. Everything points to that amazing orgasm that you will feel. You start to rationalize why you deserve it, why it doesn’t hurt anyone, why it’s good for you.

Your heartbeat rises through the roof (by watching pixels btw), you feel hot in your head, you may shiver, you get agitated, you touch yourself, and your focus is 100% on Porn. It’s incredible how the dopamine keeps you locked in on the content, giving you that fantastic feeling that you will reach an orgasm like never before this time. Everything points to how good it will be. In the end, while it is good and may last for 10 seconds or more, it’s not even remotely as good as advertised.

Then the regret kicks in. I hate myself, and I just lost 5 hours or more on something I could have finished in 2 minutes. Why did I waste so much time when I have other better stuff to do. After a long streak, you are tired. So hmm, let’s order a fatty pizza and lie down. Ohh, and bye, bye a potentially productive day. Do that every day, and it’s a struggle to get out.

Conflicts

You have these conflicts. Believe me. I’ve been there. You get sucked in, you masturbate to Porn, and you orgasm. You feel guilty and say no more. You delete everything you have stored on your pc, and two days later, you get pulled back in and re-download everything you erased. You do that over and over again.

It’s the addiction. Your mind gets hijacked by an overstimulated natural response, and for the love of God, you can’t snap out of it. You can’t snap out of it because every part of your brain works against your conscious mind. Consciousness is just a small piece of the overall mind, and a significantly larger portion of the mind is on the opposite side of the river.

Your brain is in a chemical imbalance. Why you cant snap out of it, I can only compare to the situation of ingesting alcohol or chemical drugs. Once you get drunk, you can’t decide not to be drunk. You are drunk until it passes.

Usually, you have warped convictions of what is ok to do and what is not. Think drunk driving, urinating in a bar on a floor, getting into fights for no reason, stuff of that venue.

I know that no matter my reasons against Porn right now if I watch Porn, I will get high on it in a matter of minutes, I will spiral out of control in the next 20. I will lose 3-4 hours and end up masturbating 3x today, plus I will visit a prostitute for sure.

My heartbeat rose a little when I wrote this. That is why I keep my distance no matter what.

When you reach a point in life that you must change, only then will you truly commit. It will not come on its own. It has to become a conflict between who you are and who you want to be. Most of us don’t know who we want to be, so this is a problem.

It will help you to put things in perspective no matter at what point you are in life. I made a short word file here for you.

I used it to get life’s goals clarified for myself.

In time these mental gymnastics will produce a split into two characters in one body. One that everyone on the outside sees, and one only you see and think of as the evil, horrible part of you—pushing you further from finding help for yourself.

This type of war in one’s mind is why abstaining from Porn and managing your urges is hard and often ends in a relapse.

Other Problems A Porn Addict Faces

I am having an intimate relationship with my partner. And I am not aroused at all unless I think about Porn.

You are starting intercourse, are aroused, but you can barely hold together when the time for sex comes. You don’t feel aroused anymore unless you think of porn scenes. It is the only way you can orgasm, or you have to fake it.

You feel bad for it because you have to think about Porn when intimate with your partner.

You can easily have sex, and 30 minutes later, watch Porn and masturbate. 

Sex just became unsatisfying. Orgasm just not as intense as with Porn. You may think in the middle of sex, “Let’s just get over with this.” Once it’s over, you pray he/she falls asleep so you can watch Porn and get your treat.

Sexual preferences change frequently.

Once every few months, compared to when I was in adolescence, it was once every two weeks and are all over the place. You like girls, lesbians, guys, feet, S&M, etc… It is crazy to have this when you are in puberty. Later in life, it kind of stabilizes. It does not jump around so much anymore, but that’s all.

Spend 3 hours a day watching Porn

Now it’s time for my treat. Lock the doors, close the blinds, find my site, hit my favorite content and action. Five hundred videos and 3 hours later, completely wiped out, you finish to something barely interesting, then it’s off rest. Daily productivity is through the roof.

Consider the opposite sex only as a sex object.

You can’t talk to the opposite sex without thinking. “Look at all those parts i could use. I dont care what you like nor what you have to say. Do you do oral?” That sums it up nicely. It is true, as it is defective.

Massive (well hidden) collection of Porn on PC/Phone

Most of you got one, I am sure. It beats searching for the winning videos you like over the internet, which saves a lot of time as well. You delete it almost every time you use it to get off. The next time you masturbate, you hit yourself for deleting everything.

Lies and manipulation become like breathing to you. You are not necessarily good at it tho.

  • Why were you not in school? “Amm, the school burned down.”
  • Where are my 30 bucks? ” I saved it so no one would steal it from you!”
  • Your classes for a driver’s license are the most expensive in this town! “Ohh, everyone has these prices. A bunch of extra fees.”
  • Grandma: Here, 50 bucks. Split it with your sister! “Aham Yes, normally.”
  • So how is working in Germany? Are you tired? ” I lied. I went to Thailand for two months”.
  • Why is our phone bill so damn large? Did any of you call porn chat? “Amm no, not me!” two hours later… “Ye, I did that.”
  • So where do you work now? “Ohh, I don’t work. I won the lottery! Don’t ever have to work again!” Later I pick up social support.
  • Wife: “What were you just watching?” Me: “It’s not what you think. It was just a commercial. I was checking sports news, and it just popped up.”
  • Wife: “Why is this in browser history?” Me: “Meh, Nelson from work send me a link, and I checked out what it was. That’s all. Don’t overreact.”
  • So what did you do today? “Meh, I worked on my business and hobby. Made a few calls for business.” In reality, I lay in bed all day and scratched in certain areas.

You will soon start lying about the most trivial things. It is what Porn addiction will do to you. You hide your use for a while, and it becomes second nature to you. Don’t forget that sooner or later, people around you will catch on. Hell, my parents don’t trust me anymore, and I am an adult now. My sister knows I lie every time I open my mouth, as do the rest who know me. It became such a big part of me I find it difficult to correct my behavior to stop lying.

Don’t care at all?

  • No washed pants. Screw it. I have some old ones.
  • I need to go to work—no Fresh underwear. It looks like a day without underwear.
  • All the sock pairs are missing in the closet? Ok. Let’s try to find two approximately similar socks.
  • Does the undershirt have a few holes? Meh, I will wear a sweater.
  • Need to get hair done? I will fix it myself. I Won’t pay for it.
  • Is Car interior dirty? I will clean it in the spring.
  • Let’s see how long I can go without a shower before it bothers me. Hmm, ok, 14 days. I will save on water and shampoo.
  • Apartment dusty? I lost my vacuum cleaner. Oh well.

Anyway, a complete degenerate that does not care at all!

Why can’t you stick to a commitment for more than two weeks??

No matter what you try, you can’t stick to it when the starting enthusiasm leaves. I tried:

  • Karate ( 2 days)
  • Chess class (4 days)
  • Fitness (10 days)
  • Painting class (7 days)
  • Running (3 days)
  • Learning to weld (7 days)
  • Pyrography (14 days)
  • Going to college. Twice (0 days)
  • Tenis (3 days)
  • Build a 3d printer (Lost interest before parts came from China)

Have no motivation to stick to anything at all in the long run.

Have few friends?

They don’t like me, and I don’t want them! No one understands me anyway, and no one cares either. It sums it up pretty much.

Your decision making skill and impulse control is shot to hell?

Do you make life-altering decisions that are never good for you in the long run? Join my club. Idiots Anonymous.

Do you visit escorts?

Once you are there, the married side that has a family stays outside at the door. In goes the pervert.

Conclusion

Addiction to Porn is a problem that no one sees coming, but once caught in it. It can do some pretty nasty damage to you.

Check my other article on how to break free by yourself.

Until next time

Article Writen by Joe Average

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